Infidelity: The Truth of Homewreckers






There's an Indian daily soap called 'Anupamaa' that airs on Star Plus. I have stopped watching all kinds of local TV shows, partly because I don't have much time anymore and another reason being how problematic most of shows and movies are. I'd like to consider the example of the show 'Anupamaa' and how it is pushing a destructive mentality. 

For context, the show 'Anupamaa' is about a devoted housewife, mother, and daughter-in-law, who loves her family and fulfills all their needs, ignoring her own. Neglected of the same love and respect in her house from her own family members, she realises the bitter truth and sets out to live her life on her own terms.

Photograph: Hotstar (Also notice how the 'homewrecker' is westernised but the devoted wife is in traditional wear, pushing the beliefs that women who wear western clothes have evil minds while the ones who wear traditional clothes are the epitome of a generous and respectable woman; but that's a story for another day.)

In the show, her husband Vanraj is having an affair since the last 8 years, and when Anupamaa does find out she doesn't believe it first because how come her perfect husband could be like this? Anyways, after the dramatic 4-5 episodes, she finally believes that her husband has really been unfaithful to her. Now here's my concern, in the whole scenario and the way the story is moving forward, the girl who Vanraj now wants to marry is being painted as the 'homewrecker' who stole all happiness from Anupamaa by manipulating her husband and using her sexuality as a weapon to benefit from his earnings. This is just the usual, everytime a man is cheating on his girlfriend/wife, the other woman is always to be blamed because it's always easy to paint a woman crazy when everyone already has an belief that women are manipulative and gold-diggers. 

Let's delve more into this situation. Why is the man always getting manipulated? From what I have heard, men are extraordinarily capable and hold high posts in businesses and corporations. Just look at the renowned history and the skewed ratio of men and women who have made some valuable contribution. So how is it that men, who are so smart and wise but they end up falling prey to some cheap tactics by 'gold-diggers'? Really makes you think because if women are so manipulative and smart, why won't they be in higher positions in every field and be competitive? OR....if men are easily manipulated then how do they handle the constant fraudery and negotiations that occur in every work field? 

Now, getting into the media where women's intentions are always presented as 'evil' and 'deceitful' no matter the situation. Taking the example of 'homewrecker', why is it never accepted that MAYBE, maybe the woman also fell in love with that man while the man was being disloyal and manipulative? P.s. we all know who's to blame when a woman is the one cheating on her husband and how it's because she's a slut.

Photograph: ABC Everyday

Growing up in an asian household, the perception I have seen people have of women, even women's perception of fellow women, it's very upsetting. Everything is blamed on women, or atleast they are held accountable for it first. The false representation in media, especially daily soaps of South Asian countries, where women have literally nothing else to do except either being a faithful slave to her family or an evil bitch who lures men using her sexuality and claims ownership over the money he earned after years of hard work. It would be really ignorant of me to say there hasn't been trial-and-error of 'progressive' shows where women have an ambition of their own. But name any show that actually, and solely, sorrounded around their dreams and ambitions. For the first 4-5 months, it's all about the aspirations and purpose, but as the show "progresses", it's back on track where the woman is in her home, indulging in the drama of how her sister-in-law is trying to manipulate her kind and supportive father-in-law into giving away the ownership of all his property to her. Typical. 

There are endless, and when I say endless, I DO. MEAN. ENDLESS. cases where the woman is always some kind of evil person manipulating a sweet and innocent man. I often think if things will get better or atleast, these things will be acknowledged but I don't see it anytime soon considering how backwards Indian Society has moved the past years in terms of "progression". Maybe a day will come, but whenever that is, it's nowhere in sight to me as of today. 

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