11 Unapologetic Insights That Will Enhance Your Dating Experience In College!



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CollegeTime

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The transition from high school to college can be exciting and people tend to use their newly found independence, distance from home, minimal responsibilities, and opportunity to meet new people to explore dating. India being the hub for traditional arranged marriages, dating is quite a new concept here and is less talked about. 

Dating – be it casual or serious, putting yourself out there can be daunting and filled with uncertainties. Here are a few things I wish someone would have told me before my freshman year.

1. Be yourself: 

Heard about it before? I can’t press on it enough. With social media taking over and everyone trying to mask themselves with a polished version, you might be perceived in the wrong way. Someone might like you for being pretty, being smart, or being good at sports or extra-curricular and that is great but that does not define who you are. Make sure you flaunt your shortcomings and are secure about yourself. If it makes them stay, it is great, or else it was never meant to be.

2. The first person you date might not be the last:

 We all are somewhat drunk on Bollywood.  It has created the illusion of first love being magical and you’ll accidentally bump into your soul mate in the library and it will be a happily ever after. As beautiful as it seems, it is rare and is far from reality. Your first relationship will be special but that doesn’t mean you won’t fall in love again.  It takes a lot for a relationship to work and you can’t be compatible with everyone. 

3. Be clear of your intentions:

It is very important that you self reflect and are clear about your intentions and expectations from a relationship. You’ll meet a lot of people in college, some of them are looking for a meaningful commitment, others for a mere hookup. Be sure that you and your partner are on the same page. 

4. Time management and setting priorities are crucial:

Your relationship should add to your life, not be your life. College is not as structured and organized as high school and we tend to explore a lot of things at the same time. Balancing work and a relationship might get tough but whatsoever our education comes first. It is important that we prioritize things well, have conversations about it, and accept being our partner’s second priority. 

5. Talk, talk, talk:

We are social creatures, being envious, insecure, uncomfortable, and uncertain is in our nature and we must communicate about it. We all have imperfections but what matters is that we realize it, talk about it, and assure our partner to work on it. It may take time but that’s how we grow. You might be ignoring something that bothers you today but one day, it may lead to a breakup, so however uncomfortable it is, get it out of your system. 

6. Chemistry and compatibility are not the same:

People usually tend to confuse chemistry with compatibility. High compatibility comes from similarities in lifestyle choices and values of a person. Generally speaking, if I am a scientist, it is highly unlikely that I will be attracted to a drug dealer. 

Chemistry, on the other hand, is the emotional bond between two people. Chemistry happens when two people enjoy each other’s company, there is a good understanding, comfortable physical relationship, when hours spent together feel like seconds or when a lot of fuzzy emotions are involved. 

A relationship with a high degree of chemistry but lacking compatibility might feel perfect at the beginning but soon it will wear out of meaning. You’ll miss bonding and being relatable to your partner and eventually fall out of love. On the other hand, if you date someone with high compatibility but no chemistry, it will simply be boring. Not all relationships end on bad terms. Sometimes people involved have good hearts, good intentions and are genuinely in love but lack of chemistry or compatibility might part their ways. 

Respect your needs, walking away from a fine relationship due to the absence of compatibility isn’t selfish. It might be tough, but it will save you from a lot of mental stress.

7. Change is inevitable:

You will not be nearly the same person in your senior year as you were in the freshman year. You will change and so will your partner. Your goals may change, choices may change, you’ll lose interest in things and that is called growing but it is important that you walk your partner through it and give them a fair opportunity to process it.

8. Don't neglect the red flags:

Sometimes we’re so blind in love that we might neglect our partner’s few habits which we would have never approved otherwise. Whenever our friends, family, and our loved ones, try to share an insight, listen to them with an unbiased paradigm. It might be tough to hear but they wish the best for us. Moreover, as time passes, a relationship may lose excitement, it’s a commitment that needs effort from both sides but it is never something that will wear out your mental health. Don’t lose your sanity in the process.

9. Forgive! 

Moving on from a relationship is heartbreaking. We need to accept that we aren’t perfect and we all are allowed to make mistakes. Sometimes we do things, say things that we are not very proud of but stop being so hard on ourselves. Forgive yourself, learn from it, and don’t repeat it. 

When a relationship breaks on loose ends, you may feel that your partner is being unreasonable and isn’t trying to understand your side. But in reality, everyone has had different experiences and they perceive things according to that. You won’t be always correct and can’t make everyone agree with your perspective. Respect that and just let it go. 

10.It is okay to not date at all:

Dating shouldn’t be done for the sake of it. It isn’t something you need to catch up on or should have fear of missing out on. Being committed takes up space in your life and requires effort, if currently you cannot afford it, just skip it. 

11.Your choices are your choices:

When you make an unconventional choice, be proud of it. No one has the right to shame you for it. A relationship is your private affair and not a public business to be gossiped about. If you are someone who enjoys going on dates, meeting new people, do it. As long as you are honest and taking care of your feelings as well as those around you, it is fine. 

In the end, college is all about exploring. A relationship, even if it doesn’t work out, it will teach you a lot about yourself as well as the world around you. It will bring your flaws and imperfections to light and you’ll learn to embrace them.  


- Submitted by Snehal Patil, via CollegeTime

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COMMENTS


  1. mehak.saini0301Feb. 20, 2021, 9:39 a.m.

    Interesting for college students 😍


  2. priyanka.borwankerDec. 20, 2020, 12:50 p.m.

    Interesting!


  3. rajatpatni14juneDec. 13, 2020, 6:41 a.m.

    😉❤️❤️❤️ Chemistry and Compatibility . Very well said . Super Cool !


  4. suhanasiddika255Nov. 26, 2020, 11:41 a.m.

    ♥️♥️